It was so dumb that it was funny...

This last week at work has been employee appreciation week.  Yesterday, they bought us ice cream sandwiches, popsicles, and italian ice.  Since I'm trying to eat better but didn't want to miss out on free desert, I chose the Welches Fruit strawberry bar over the fat boy.

I stuck the treat in my back pocket, loaded my van for the day, and was headed off to work.  I thought that since I had it in my back pocket for a while it would be soft and yummy....

I'm on 4500s about to get on I-15 when I put the fruit bar in my mouth and soon was made aware that the delicious strawberry fruit bar was not soft and yummy but a frozen solid and when I put it in my mouth, it melded my upper/lower lips and tongue to the fruit bar.

(this image flashed into my mind)

I never thought that having your tongue frozen to anything was as serious as it was for Ralphie's friend and I thought that with a little saliva and patience, you could get your tongue off the frozen pole within a few seconds.

So here I am, inner lips and tongue melded to the fruit bar about to get on the freeway north bound and my mouth was getting very very cold.  Luckily I was in the inner lane of the freeway on-ramp so I flipped an illegal U-turn and headed back to the office at warp speed.  I drove with the Popsicle dangling from my mouth and lucky my nose wasn't stuffy so I could breath.  If it would have been clogged, I would have surely died of asphyxiation.  Under the freeway.  Death by Strawberry Popsicle....

I parked the van by the office door and just wanted to dunk my head in a bucket of hot water asap.  I held the fruit bar stick and tried to act as normal as possible as I made my way to the bathroom.  Once I got in there (by this time, my mouth was numb and the fruit bar was pretty much cemented to my lips and tongue) I turned on the sink and began splashing my face with water.  It must have been an interesting site.  Popsicle dangling from my mouth as I hum anguish pains and drench my face in water.  After about 30 seconds, I got the top lip free, my tongue, and then my bottom lip (taking skin with it).  

I couldn't help but laugh out loud.  The past 2 minutes were the longest and coldest 2 minutes of my long hot summer day.  

From this experience I learned that freezing office treats with dry ice so they can stay frozen throughout the day is a violent crime to the innocent fruit bar eaters and that from now on, if I ever have the choice of a Welches strawberry fruit bar or Fat Boy, I'm taking the Fat Boy.

after pic.

It hurts a lot more today than it did after it happened yesterday